Watching anime like Solo Leveling or Sword Art Online and playing MMORPGs makes me want to level up my life as a game character.

I’m a gamer at heart, so I want to max out all the stats and bring my character to its highest level.

When you play a game, it feels absolutely amazing to see your character grow, level up, learn new skills, get stronger, and unlock new achievements.

Unfortunately, in real life, we don’t have a stats window, a skill tree, or a quest system — to guide us, show our progress, and tell us what we need to learn or should work on.

This leaves many to feel uncertain, lacking direction, and unsure where to start.

They don’t know what’s important to them, and the lack of clarity makes it difficult for them to make the right decision, so they often neglect certain areas of life.

Without seeing progress, they don’t know how far they’ve come or how far they can go — so they feel unmotivated and aimless, which further stagnates their growth.

Ultimately, all of this lead to a lower quality of life and unfulfillment.

Which I do not want.

What I want is:

I want to find my purpose.

I want to build a fulfilling life.

I want to maximize my potential.

And I want to reach mastery in my life.

To do that, I need to look at my life from a bigger perspective, and I do that with what I call the “Hexagon of Life Mastery.”

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Lack of Clarity and Its Consequences

When you lack clarity, you will feel uncertain.

Uncertain of what your purpose is, uncertain of where you’re headed, and uncertain of where to start.

This leads to a lack of motivation and drive because you don’t know what steps to take or what to do.

Not knowing what is important to you makes it difficult to make the right decisions.

So, you will struggle with work-life balance, you will neglect certain areas of life (e.g., health for career), and this will always lead to bigger issues — because all areas are interconnected.

As a result, you will suffer from a low quality of life.

Furthermore, being disconnected from your personal values will leave you wasting time pursuing things that don’t align with your own.

This could be what your parents, your friends, or your acquaintances tell you that you should do:

• You should go to university

• You should take this job

• You should date this girl

• You should buy a house

• You should get married

In the end, you will feel unhappy and discontented — doing things you don’t actually enjoy and making decisions that aren’t your own.

And you will not achieve the growth that YOU desire or fulfill the potential that YOU want.

Maxing Out Your Life through Holistic Mastery

All of the above can be avoided if you have more clarity about your life, and once you do, you will be able to improve the overall quality of your life:

You will have a healthy and strong body.

You will gain financial security and freedom.

You will build strong, meaningful relationships.

You will find lasting contentment and peace.

You will achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

Having clarity will help you find your ultimate purpose and have a clear direction in life.

You will be more self-aware, knowing what you want out of life — which will fuel your drive and personal growth.

You will know how far you’ve come, giving you sustainable motivation and resilience to pursue your goals.

You will be able to continuously improve yourself, leading to a better quality of life.

Knowing what’s important to you, you will make intentional and confident decisions — creating the life you want and enjoy.

Ultimately, you will achieve mastery in all key areas of life, maximize your potential, and leave a lasting legacy.

Hexagon of Life Mastery: A Comprehensive Framework

Physical: The Vessel (Sleep, Nutrition & Diet, Exercise & Fitness, Looks and Style) — This is your body, the foundation, the base for all your successes in other areas, and the container of your existence.

Mental: The Compass (Mindsets, Emotions, Mindfulness) — This is your mind, the way you think, perceive, and make decisions; it acts as your internal guide, determining your direction and purpose in life.

Social: The Network (Dating, Making Friends, Social Skills) — This is the relationships and connections you make, providing the essential support, collaboration, and opportunities needed for a fulfilling and happy life.

Intellectual: The Library (Science, History, Technology, Language, Music) — This is your accumulated knowledge and understanding of this world, constantly expanding to provide the insight necessary to make effective, informed decisions.

Financial: The Resources (Investing, Online Business, Money Management) — This is the capital and wealth you build, serving as resources that give you freedom and fuel your pursuits in every other area.

Organizational: The Blueprint (Focus & Productivity, Automation & Systemizing, Goal Setting & Planning) — This is the master plan and structure that you create, bringing order and efficiency to everything you do.

Interconnectedness - How Each Area Affects the Others

It is imperative to understand that everything is interconnected.

It is the Ripple Effect.

Improvement in one area will always improve all the others, while neglecting one will inevitably worsen others.

That is why our goal will be to improve all areas, maxing out all our stats.

This will lead us to a more balanced, happier life and allow us to fulfill our potential.

Physical

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Better Physical Health → Increased Mental Clarity & Focus: When your body is healthy, and your brain functions optimally, you will have improved concentration and make better decisions.

• Regular Exercise & Looking Good → Improved Self-Confidence & Social Interaction: Feeling good about your body leads to higher self-esteem, making you more likely to engage socially and perform better in dating or professional settings

• Healthy Habits → More Energy for Projects & Entrepreneurship: Sufficient energy allows you to dedicate more time and effort to pursue any project you want (building an online business, learning martial arts, etc.)

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Poor Physical Health → Low Motivation & Difficulty Concentrating: Chronic fatigue or illness severely impacts your ability to focus, learn, and grow.

• Unhealthy Appearance → Decreased Self-Esteem & Social Anxiety: Feeling unattractive makes you want to withdraw from social situations and worsens your mental well-being.

• Lack of Energy → Reduced Drive for Financial Endeavors: Being constantly tired makes it harder for you to pursue side hustles, manage investments, or be productive at your job, impacting financial growth.

Mental

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Growth Mindset → Adaptability in Financial Ventures & New Skills: A belief in continuous improvement allows you to try out new business ideas, learn new skills, and get out of your comfort zone.

• Emotional Regulation → Better Interpersonal Relationships & Conflict Resolution: Managing your emotions effectively leads to better social interactions, benefiting both your personal and professional connections.

• Mindfulness & Purpose → Clearer Goal Setting & Sustained Motivation: Understanding your values and practicing mindfulness helps you define meaningful goals and maintain the drive to achieve them.

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Negative Self-Talk & Anxiety → Hindered Social Connections & Dating: Internal struggles can manifest as social awkwardness, preventing you from forming meaningful relationships or navigating dating effectively.

• Lack of Focus & Procrastination → Impaired Learning & Business Growth: A chaotic mind struggles to absorb new information or execute on important tasks, impacting your intellectual development and online business endeavors.

• Poor Stress Management → Physical Health Decline: Chronic stress can lead to physical ailments, creating a vicious cycle between mental and physical well-being.

Social

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Strong Social Skills → Networking Opportunities & Business Growth: Effective communication and relationship-building can open doors to collaborations, mentorship, and clients in business.

• Supportive Relationships → Mentorship & Emotional Resilience: Having a strong social circle provides emotional support and valuable advice, aiding in mental well-being and problem-solving in other areas.

• Improved Communication → Clearer Understanding & Reduced Conflict: Better articulation and listening skills lead to more effective teamwork and fewer misunderstandings in all aspects of life.

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Loneliness & Isolation → Mental Health Deterioration: Lack of social connection can lead to depression, anxiety, and a feeling of aimlessness, impacting your overall well-being.

• Poor Social Skills → Limited Career Advancement & Missed Opportunities: Inability to network or collaborate effectively can stagnate your professional growth and hinder financial gains.

• Inability to Build Rapport → Difficulty Learning from Others: Without strong social connections, mentorship opportunities, and collaborative learning, your experiences are limited, which can impact intellectual growth.

Intellectual

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Continuous Learning → Informed Financial Decisions & Entrepreneurial Innovation: A curious mind leads to researching market trends, understanding complex investment strategies, and identifying new business opportunities.

• Critical Thinking Skills → Better Problem-Solving & Strategic Planning: The ability to analyze data and think critically is invaluable for overcoming challenges in all life areas, from personal relationships to business ventures.

• Broad Knowledge Base → Improved Communication & Deeper Conversations: A well-read individual can engage in more stimulating discussions, enhancing social connections and making them more persuasive.

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Lack of Learning → Stagnation in Career & Financial Income: Without acquiring new skills or knowledge, you risk becoming obsolete in your field and missing out on earning potential.

• Susceptibility to Misinformation → Poor Decision-Making in All Areas: An uninformed mind is easily swayed, leading to bad financial investments, unhealthy lifestyle choices, or unstable relationships.

• Limited Perspective → Difficulty Understanding Others & Empathy: A narrow intellectual scope can make it harder to relate to diverse viewpoints, impacting social harmony.

Financial

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Financial Security → Reduced Stress & Increased Mental Well-being: Less worry about money frees up mental space, allowing you to better focus on personal growth and happiness.

• Wealth & Resources → Access to Better Physical Health & Education: Financial means give you access to healthier food, quality healthcare, gym memberships, and educational opportunities, enhancing your physical and intellectual growth.

• Financial Independence → Freedom to Pursue Passions & Give Back: No longer tied to a demanding job, you can dedicate time to creative pursuits, helping others, or exploring new interests, enriching your social and mental life.

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Financial Stress → Mental Health Decline & Relationship Strain: Money worries are a leading cause of anxiety and conflict in relationships, which will impact your mental and social well-being.

• Lack of Resources → Limited Access to Opportunities: Without financial means, your access to education, healthy food, and personal development resources is severely restricted, impacting your physical, mental, and intellectual growth.

• Constant Scarcity Mindset → Poor Long-Term Planning & Entrepreneurial Fear: Always feeling behind hinders you from planning your life long term and discourages you from taking risks in business ventures.

Organizational

Improving this area leads to benefits in others:

• Effective Systems → More Free Time for Personal Growth & Relationships: Streamlined processes and automated systems free up valuable time, allowing you to invest in intellectual, physical, or social activities.

• Goal Setting & Planning → Clearer Path to All Achievements: A well-defined roadmap makes it easier for you to achieve any milestones or master any domains (Which is the purpose of the HoLM)

• Decluttered Space & Digital Systems → Reduced Mental Clutter & Stress: An organized external environment often translates to a more organized internal state, promoting mental clarity and peace.

Neglecting this area leads to problems in others:

• Disorganization & Procrastination → Missed Opportunities & Financial Losses: Lack of planning can lead to missed deadlines, inefficient work, and financial setbacks in business or personal finances.

• Inefficient Systems → Increased Stress & Burnout: Feeling constantly overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities negatively impacts your mental well-being and productivity.

• Chaotic Environment → Difficulty Focusing & Learning: A disorganized workspace or mind makes it challenging to concentrate on intellectual tasks, hindering learning and mastery.

Actionable Steps for Implementation

1. Create Your “Stats Window”

First, I want you to reflect on all these areas of your life and identify your current standing in each.

This will help you understand where you are good at and where you still need to improve.

You will then assign points from 1 to 100 for each area, and these are your current “stats” for your “character.”

Here is what mine looks like currently:

2. Dive Deep into Subcategories

Break down each of these areas into subcategories and research them to define specific improvement goals.

As you could see above in my HoLM, I broke Financial down to Investing, Online Business, and Money Management.

Online Business can be broken down further to

• Building Personal Brand

• Creating a product/service

• Marketing & Sales Funnels

And each of these can be broken down even further.

Doing it this way, you will know exactly what actions you need to take to improve this area.

3. Cultivate Habits & Pursue Goals

Once you know which area you want to focus on, you will create habits and set goals to improve it.

I recommend that you first build these four keystone habits:

• Working out

• Reading

• Meditating

• Sleep

The effects of these four habits will radiate and improve all areas of your life.

As for goals, here are some examples of mine:

• Build an online business

• Generate passive income

• Improve dating life

• Optimize looks

• Learn piano

4. Focus and Repeat

The rule is: “ Work on one single goal and one single habit until completion, then move on to the next ones.”

This will prevent you from being overwhelmed and burned out, ensuring you actually make progress instead of quitting halfway through.

5. Prioritize What Matters to You

You should choose and work on whichever area is the most important to you at the moment; ideally, it should be the one that you’re lacking and need to improve the most.

It could be Physical because you are really out of shape right now, or Social if your social skills really suck and you have no friends.

Right now, I am working on my Financial area because it might be the last crypto bull run with significant gains, and because the AI wave is coming, which makes the future uncertain — so my best bet is to make as much money as possible right now.

Besides, even if I want to enjoy life right now, I can’t do it as much as I’d like because I don’t really have the money to do so, haha.

My goal is to maximize all areas, especially Social and Mental.

Everyone has their own preferences and goals, so your “edge” can be in any area you want it to be.

Whether you want to be a top athlete, a multi-billionaire, or a scientist depends on you.

I would still recommend improving all areas to above average first, then you can choose any “stats” to max out as you personally want.

6. Reflect Regularly

Now that you have clarity on what to work on and a stats window to track your progress, you should reflect on your life periodically — I recommend doing this monthly.

Unlike in a game where your stats get updated automatically, you need to update your stats yourself.

By reflecting regularly, you will be able to see your progress and celebrate your growth.

This will give you the sustainable motivation you need on your long journey of leveling up, maxing out stats, and ultimately to life mastery.

Conclusion

In essence, the Hexagon of Life Mastery provides a framework that offers clarity, direction, and a game-like stats window to help you max out your life.

By approaching these six interconnected areas holistically, you unlock synergistic growth.

To sum up, what you should do now is:

1. Create your own “stats window”

2. Dissect each area to know what to work on

3. Create goals and habits to improve each area

4. Focus on 1 goal and 1 habit at a time

5. Prioritize the area that is most important to you

6. Reflect regularly to track your progress

This will allow you to achieve happiness and unlock your fullest potential across all dimensions of life.

Thank you for reading, and see you in the next one.

— Kien

If you enjoyed this article and are serious about reaching life mastery, subscribe to my weekly newsletter.

Every issue gives you lessons and actionable guidance to level up in all areas of your life.

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Did you know your brain is being ‘hijacked’ by a world designed to keep you constantly stimulated — making it harder than ever to focus and enjoy the simple things?

Many of us feel overwhelmed, mentally fatigued, and struggle to concentrate, constantly seeking the next “cheap dopamine” hit from our phones and digital devices.

This overstimulation has desensitized us, leaving us feeling unmotivated and finding everything boring.

Imagine a life where you’re more focused and motivated, and where you find genuine enjoyment in everyday tasks and experiences.

That is something we all want.

And you can easily achieve that through something I call Dopamine Fasting.

It’s not a monk-mode one-time detox, but a sustainable lifestyle adjustment — to help you rebalance your brain, boost your focus, and rediscover everyday joy in a hyper-stimulated world.

The High Cost of Cheap Dopamine

Dopamine 101: The Neuroscience of Motivation

Dopamine is one of the most important chemicals in our body.

It isn’t just about pleasure; it’s the critical neurotransmitter responsible for motivation, reward, and craving.

It is what drives us to take actions, seek out, and achieve goals.

It is the brain’s fuel for motivation — Without it, you will not have any desire to do anything, even the simplest tasks.

To truly understand this, consider a fascinating study with rats:

Scientists divided rats into two groups:

• Group 1 (Normal Dopamine): These rats were placed in a cage where they had to press a lever to receive food pellets. They repeatedly pressed the lever to get food. Even when they were moved a short distance away from the lever, they would return to push it for food.

• Group 2 (No Dopamine): Through injection, the scientists eliminated these rats’ dopamine neurons so that they couldn’t produce dopamine anymore. Interestingly, these rats still ate and enjoyed the food when it was provided. However, when moved even a short distance (around 15 centimeters) from the lever, they would not move at all to press it for food. They simply lacked the motivation to initiate the action, even though they experienced pleasure from eating.

This groundbreaking study reveals that:

• You don’t need dopamine to experience pleasure.

• But you do need dopamine to be motivated to seek pleasure and take action towards goals.

As essential as it is, the brain has a limited capacity for how much dopamine it can produce per day.

Constant overstimulation can deplete and desensitize the system, leading to a “dopamine deficit state.”

In this state, you will not feel motivated to pursue any tasks, even if you know the outcome will be enjoyable or beneficial.

Unfortunately, that is the problem most of us face, living in our world today.

The Risks of Living in Today’s World

Thanks to explosive technological development, we have changed the world in the last century more than we did in hundreds of thousands of years before that combined.

But our brain is still designed for a lifestyle in the old world, which was completely different from our own today.

Throughout our evolution, dopamine was the chemical that motivated us to do things that ensured our survival (hunting, shelter-building, and connecting with others)

In our modern world, we have found ways to effectively hack this ancient reward system, stripping it of its original, life-sustaining purpose.

By simply living, we take on risk.

But not the good type of risk.

The risk of binge tech (social media, streaming, gaming, and news).

The risk of simulated sexual stimulation (pornography and dating apps).

The risk of consumables (alcohol, drugs, junk food).

The risk of thrill-seeking (gambling, shopping sprees, or extreme spots).

— Dan Koe

This constant overstimulation exploits our brain’s reward system, depletes our dopamine stores, creates unnatural spikes, and raises the bar for what we consider stimulating — making it increasingly harder to resist these highly dopaminergic stimuli.

The Erosion of Focus and Enjoyment

As I mentioned above, our brain can only produce a limited amount of dopamine per day.

That is why our brain will always try to maintain a certain level of dopamine (so that it has the time to rest and produce more) — and that is our baseline.

The problem with constant stimulation is that it creates unnatural dopamine spikes.

And because the brain will try to restore the level to baseline, it will first crash below it before increasing back up again.

These crashes will result in a dopamine deficit state.

In this low-dopamine state, you will not feel any motivation to do anything at all.

If this happens frequently, the bar for what you consider stimulating will be increased, and you will feel the need to constantly seek more intense dopamine spikes — Just like a drug addict who needs higher doses of the drug over time.

Basically, you will be desensitized, and everything that is less stimulating than your phone will be automatically labeled as boring.

This desensitization means you will lose the ability to find joy and motivation in everyday life and even in simple tasks.

Back when I was a chronic procrastinator, I would spend hours just binge-watching Netflix, reading manga, or playing video games.

And I would constantly feel the need to switch between series and find new ones to watch, because otherwise I would find it dull and boring very quickly.

Not only that, I found it so hard to do simple everyday chores like washing dishes or cooking that I literally need to listen to music — just to bring myself to do them.

When you are in this dopamine deficit state, you will also find it extremely difficult to focus and get anything done — because overstimulation destroys the potential for flow states as you find everything boring and unrewarding.

So, if you are like I was and start the day by scrolling on your phone, you will find it extremely challenging to concentrate later in the day and may even experience brain fog due to a sustained low dopamine state.

Also, I thought it was fine to relax a bit during breaks by playing games or checking my phone.

But these stimulations and fast dopamine activities only make it harder to focus afterwards and even cause decision fatigue — because I would have to make myself stop and start working again.

Which was almost impossible to do because it was so addictive, and my dopamine level was so low (So I constantly feel the need to chase after more fast dopamine).

If I failed to stop, I would try to run away from my shame by procrastinating more and wasting even more time.

Mentally Obese: Suppressed Emotions and Procrastination

If you were to binge on information (social media as a prime example) every day since you’ve had the app installed on your phone, you’re walking around mentally obese. You don’t notice it because it’s become normal (homeostasis).

— Dan Koe

Our brain is only capable of processing a limited amount of information through conscious thought.

About only 10 bits per second, a fraction of the roughly 1 billion bits per second of information gathered by our senses.

Yet we constantly bombard it with new, fast information through our phones (news, reels, shorts), which can lead to context collapse and information overload.

This constant mental binging is, for many, a way to escape reality, which prevents them from processing thoughts and emotions.

I was one of them, too.

Whenever I felt stressed, or something bad happened that made me sad (being rejected, doing something embarrassing, scoring poorly on a test) — I would lock myself in my room, cover myself with my warm blanket, and escape to my comfortable world of Netflix, Manga, and video games.

So instead of confronting my problems and emotions, I would suppress them and try to run away through more stimulation, which leads to increased procrastination, wasting time, and a feeling of unmotivation, unable to get out of bed — or “bed rotting (as many call it nowadays).”

This constant pursuit of fast dopamine and stimulation creates a vicious cycle of a bad habit of escaping reality, and can even lead to addictive patterns.

The Vanishing Attention Span

The rapid-fire content of social media and short videos trains your brain for fleeting attention rather than sustained focus.

This contributes to difficulty with deep work and learning, making it harder to engage with complex tasks or long-form content.

Also, your brain will become conditioned to constant stimulation, leading to anxiety and restlessness when not actively engaged.

This is a sad reality I’ve observed: people always listen to music or are on their phones when they’re outside the house.

So instead of observing life, contemplating your thoughts, or talking with others, it has simply become the norm to take out your phone and scroll when you have nothing to do.

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

— Naval Ravikant

Recap: The Cycle of Overstimulation

In essence, the modern world is designed to hijack your brain, constantly feeding it cheap dopamine.

This leads to a higher baseline for stimulation, making genuine focus, motivation, and enjoyment harder to achieve.

The result is a cycle of overwhelm, mental fatigue, and a constant craving for more, yet ultimately less satisfying, stimulation.

Without addressing this, we risk becoming perpetually unmotivated, disengaged from meaningful tasks, and unable to experience true satisfaction and joy in life.

Reclaiming Your Brain’s Natural Blueprint

In order to do this, you will need to rebalance your dopamine system.

When your dopamine system is balanced, you’ll find it a lot easier to concentrate and do hard work.

Getting into flow states will become more frequent and effortless.

Before, I would feel bored after just a few minutes of trying to work on a task, which led me to distract myself and seek cheap dopamine from my phone.

Now, because the cheapest form of dopamine comes from working on the task, I can focus much longer and even find the work itself satisfying.

To focus in your life, you need to be able to enjoy and derive enjoyment from just the simple things.

— Iman Gadzi

You will also be able to experience simple joy in life and daily tasks again, which is really enlightening.

I have noticed that I pay more attention to life and other people and am able to appreciate little things in life — which I didn’t before because I was always on my phone.

By resisting instant gratification, you will build a stronger willpower to endure discomfort and delay rewards — leading to greater patience and resilience in all areas of life.

Without constant stimulation, you will give your brain time to rest and space to process suppressed problems and emotions.

This will give you mental clarity and enhance your ability to think deeply.

And by embracing boredom, you will also allow your mind to wander and tap into your creative mode, giving you novel ideas and helping you solve problems.

Many of my newsletter ideas come from my walks.

Also, by not having the phone to engage with during my breaks, I can think more about the task I was doing or something I’m learning — to understand the topic better and come up with better ways to do the task, creating even better results (like me writing this newsletter now).

By reducing reliance on digital devices and being able to enjoy life more, you will become more present and engaged in real-world interactions — leading to deeper and more fulfilling connections with others.

I have found that I’m now more interested in other people and want to go out more in the evening instead of staying indoors watching Netflix and playing video games, as I used to.

Lastly, by getting your dopamine system back in balance, you will have sustainable motivation to tackle challenging, long-term goals rather than seeking fleeting instant gratification.

To do that, you will need to fast from cheap dopamine.

Your Step-by-Step Guide to Dopamine Fasting

Just like with intermittent fasting, you will have a time window to fast from your phone and the cheap dopamine sources.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to watch Netflix or play video games anymore. It just means that you delay it and schedule a limited time window for it later in the day.

The Dopamin Fasting Principle: Do all the work first thing in the day, and do the fun stuff later.

This will trick your brain into doing challenging tasks while still allowing yourself to enjoy what modern life has to offer.

Step 1: Identify your High-Dopamine triggers

Recognize the “cheap dopamine” sources in your phone. This could be any app, website, or game.

Step 2: Set a fasting period

With intermittent fasting, I have a 16/8 window of fasting/eating.

With dopamine fasting, I do a 21/3 window of fasting/enjoying phone.

You can start with a shorter fasting window and slowly increase as you get more used to it.

Your fasting time will be from when you should stop using your phone and get ready for sleep to when you are allowed to enjoy it again.

Mine is from 11 pm (1 hour before bed) until 8 pm the next day.

Between 8 pm and 11 pm, I am allowed to do whatever I want on the phone (watching Netflix, reading Manga, playing video games)

Outside this window, I can still use my phone for my work and other reasons, just without these cheap dopamine sources.

Step 3: Use app blockers

As I said, today’s world is designed against you.

But it would be stupid not to use a smartphone, given the many benefits it offers.

That’s why, instead of just relying on your willpower, you need to leverage technology to your advantage.

You will use an app blocker to block all the distracting, fast-dopamine sources that you’ve identified for the fasting time window you’ve set above.

You will also need to pay for the premium version to prevent you from uninstalling the app or stopping the blocking.

Step 4: Do hard things

In the morning, after waking up, your brain is at its peak in focus and performance.

So this is when you should prioritize the most challenging tasks that require the most thinking and effort.

This includes studying, deep working, writing, making important decisions, etc.

For an added effect and extra boost of focus, you can exercise before getting to work (which is what I do every day).

Just be careful not to overdo it because it would decrease your focus instead of boosting it.

NON-Negotiable: Avoid the Ultimate Cheap Dopamine

Porn = NO GO

This is the worst form of overstimulation and cheap dopamine just after drugs.

So avoid it at all costs, even in your “fun” window.

Block all the porn sites that you can think of!

Conclusion: A Lifestyle, Not a One-Time Detox

We’ve explored how the modern world’s onslaught of cheap dopamine hijacks your brain, leading to lost focus, suppressed emotions, and a vanishing attention span.

By implementing Dopamine Fasting – a process of intentionally limiting highly stimulating inputs, you will be able to reconnect with your brain’s natural blueprint for sustained focus, joyful, simple pleasures, and consistent motivation.

This, for me, is not a one-time detox but a sustainable lifestyle that you can and should maintain for the rest of your life.

By limiting your access to cheap dopamine, you can have a richer, more fulfilling, and more meaningful life.

Your life shouldn’t be spent on your phone

— Kien Tran

Thank you for reading, and see you in the next one.

— Kien

If you enjoyed this article and are serious about reaching life mastery, subscribe to my weekly newsletter.

Every issue gives you lessons and actionable guidance to level up in all areas of your life.

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It was getting late.

I was in a club, and, like many guys, I was looking for girls to dance and potentially make out with. And it hasn’t been successful so far, so I was a bit disappointed.

Then I saw a guy I know leaving. I came up to him to say goodbye.

To my surprise, he looked pissed, so I asked him why.

Frustratedly, he told me: “Man! All the girls here only look for rich or good-looking guys. I’ll never have a chance!”

And he left.

I had never been the type of person to blame others or circumstances for my problems.

But at that moment, I swore to myself:

“I never want to be pathetic like that.”

“Pathetic, Negative, Pitiful, Irresponsible, etc.” — These are the words that we think of when talking about a person without personal responsibility, and they are not good qualities.

When you start blaming others for your problems instead of owning them, you have already given up your control over life — and without it, you can not create a life you want.

If you want to have a meaningful life and fulfill your dreams, you will have to get rid of that victim mindset and start taking responsibility for your life!

Why Blame Keeps You Stuck

There will always be problems in our lives; they are inevitable.

It is whether we choose to assume responsibility and face it ourselves that will determine whether we overcome it and actually grow — or suffer and get stuck.

Lacking self-confidence

“Anytime we think the problem is “out there,” that thought is the problem. We empower what’s out there to control us.”

— Stephen R. Covey

The problem with blaming external factors for your problems is that you also give them control over you and let them hurt you.

Once you give them control, you will feel powerless because, well, it’s not your fault that things are bad, right? It’s what “out there” that creates your problems, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

If you think this way, how can you have confidence in your ability to face and overcome obstacles? How can you have trust in yourself?

You will also start to compare yourself to others who have what you want (either online or in real life):

• A guy with a hot girlfriend? — It’s probably because he looks good and has money.

• A fit person at the gym? — It’s probably because they have all the time in the world and don’t have real responsibilities.

• Someone who travels a lot? — It’s probably because they’re racking up debt and trying to escape their miserable life

• An entrepreneur with a successful business? — It’s probably because they were born into privilege and didn’t have to work for it.

Do you see the pattern here? Not only do you make excuses, telling yourself that it’s beyond your control to get what you want — but you will also become jealous and at the same time feel inadequate about yourself.

Back when I didn’t have a goal to work on, I would procrastinate a lot and often find myself comparing to my friends on Instagram.

Seeing them enjoying life and already almost finished college, while I still had nothing going on — made me feel so disappointed and embarrassed by myself.

And my self-confidence was at its lowest…

Not achieving your goals

It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

— Stephen R. Covey

When you think of yourself as a victim, that everything in life is against you and beyond your control, you will not even have a reason to strive towards what you want anymore.

When you don’t have trust in yourself, you will doubt your ability to shape your future, you will seek comfort and avoid challenges — this will lead to stagnation.

When you don’t take responsibility for your mistakes, you will not learn from them. You will also have difficulty accepting constructive criticism.

All of these contribute to your inability to grow as a person and make it difficult to set or achieve any meaningful goals…

Lacking self-confidence and progress towards goals can affect how you interact and communicate with those around you, thus leading to less fulfillment in friendships and relationships…

Straining relationships

When you don’t feel good about yourself:

• You will not want to reach out to other people

• You will not be able to open up about yourself

• You will not be able to be vulnerable to another person

Thus, it will be hard to build and maintain deep, meaningful relationships.

And if you’re an entitled prick who likes to play the victim, chances are you will also be negative and defensive all the time — because you find faults in everyone, but yourself, and refuse to take any constructive criticisms for your mistakes.

Nobody wants to be friends with that kind of person.

And if you blame others instead of taking responsibility for actions, you will not get any respect from them — instead, all you get is resentment and hate.

Nobody wants to have anything to do with you.

Will You Take Control of Your Life or Let It Control You?

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989), Stephen Covey distinguishes between proactive people — who focus on what they can do and what they can influence — and reactive people, who focus their energy on things beyond their control.

Circle of Concern is everything that you are worried or concerned about.

For example, the economy, political events, other people’s actions, or the weather.

Circle of Influence is the things within your circle of concern that you have the power to impact, either directly or indirectly.

For example, your personal habits, how you respond to a situation, your attitude, or your effort at work.

As you can see, the more energy and focus you give to the things that are outside of your control, the more power you will give them and the less control you will have —your Circle of Influence will shrink.

But the more you focus on what you actually have control over, which is yourself and your actions, the more this circle will grow — and so will your influence and impact in life.

Long story short:

• The less responsibility you take, the less control you will have over life

• The more responsibility you assume, the more control you will have over life

• The less responsibility you take, the more problems you will see

• The more responsibility you assume, the more opportunities you will see

So do you choose to be the victim or the hero of your story?

Become the Hero of Your Story and Get the Life You Want

My self-development journey began when I took responsibility for my life and realized I needed to change to get better:

• I want to be mentally strong and overcome any challenges

• I want to have better confidence and self-esteem

• I want to build strong relationships and connections

• I want to create a fulfilling and meaningful life.

At the end of my journey, when I look back, I don’t want to see a pathetic, little b*tch who complains all the time about what he couldn’t do — I want to see a hero who was in complete control of his destiny and achieved great things.

That will be a story worth telling my children about and someone they can look up to.

How to Take Responsibility for Your Life

Now that you feel motivated to take action, let’s move on to the steps:

Acknowledge that you are the only one responsible for your life

Whether you like it or not, you are the only person responsible for the outcome of your life.

While not every problem that happens in life may be your fault, it is always your responsibility to solve it and to get better.

It may not be your fault that the train arrived late, but it is your responsibility to find a way to arrive on time.

It may not be your fault that your parents are not the best role models, but it is your responsibility to read books and find mentors that you can learn from.

It may not be your fault that a girl rejected you, but it is your responsibility to reflect on the way you communicate and work on yourself.

It may not be your fault that you feel lost, but it’s up to you to find new experiences and purpose.

It may not be your fault that you have certain disadvantages or bad circumstances, but it is your responsibility to actively work on improving your mental, physical, and financial well-being, because no one else is going to do it for you.

Nobody is going to come to save you.

Everyone has their own problems to deal with.

They may be able to help from time to time.

But at the end of the day, it’s entirely up to you to decide what your life is going to be like — whether you’re going to be a victim and end up a failure, or you’re going to be the hero of your story and reap the victory.

Only YOU can dictate the outcome of your life.

“We are the only master of our fate.”

– Irelia

Accept what you can’t control and focus on what you can

Appreciate the good

Embrace the bad

Accept what you can’t control

— Kien Tran

As I mentioned above, the more you focus on what you can control, the bigger your Circle of Influence will grow and the more things you will have control over.

To do that, you have to accept what you don’t have control over so that you can shift your focus away from them.

This includes but is not limited to:

• The circumstances of your birth

• Genetic predispositions

• Past mistakes or embarrassing moments

• Wasted time

• Other people’s opinions of you

• Unforeseen accidents or sudden illnesses

• Alternate scenarios

Whenever I catch myself thinking about any of these, I would ask myself:

“Can I do anything about it now?”

If the answer is no, that means that it is something I don’t have control over.

Even if it is something that was in my control, like my past mistakes or what I could have done differently, I would say to myself:

“What’s done is done, learn from it and do it better next time.”

Once you recognize and fully accept what you don’t have control over, you will focus on what you do have control over.

This includes, but is not limited to:

• Your thoughts & beliefs

• Your daily habits

• Your effort & discipline

• Your perception & attitude

• What you learn

• Who you spend time with

Notice how all of this is YOUR choices and decisions.

Focus on these to improve yourself and create the life you want.

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

— Stephen R. Covey

Admit and learn from your mistakes.

Whenever you make a mistake, especially if this affects someone else,

Admit it.

Don’t make excuses.

Don’t blame anybody else.

Take full responsibility for it.

This will mold you into someone that people will trust and respect, and it’s crucial if you want to be an effective leader.

This will also build your character and resilience, which further contribute to your growth as a person.

And once you’ve admitted and recognized your mistakes, don’t stop there.

Learn from them.

Ask yourself, “What can I do better next time?”

Conclusion

To summarize how to take responsibility for your life:

1. Acknowledge that you are the only one responsible for your life

2. Accept what you can’t control and focus on what you can

3. Admit and learn from your mistakes.

To end this article, I’ll leave you with my favorite quote from League of Legends:

As always, thank you for reading, and see you in the next one.

— Kien

If you enjoyed this article and are serious about reaching life mastery, subscribe to my weekly newsletter.

Every issue gives you lessons and actionable guidance to level up in all areas of your life.

Subscribe now

There are two worst phases in my life: my depression phase and my procrastination phase.

Mentally, the depression phase was the worst, but that’s a story for another time…

As for the procrastination phase, it didn’t start out badly, but over time, as the bad habit took root and more time was wasted, it began to affect all areas of my life—mentally, physically, and socially. (At least money wasn’t affected, but it did take away my time and opportunities to improve it, and if it isn’t solved, it will likely worsen in the long run.)

What Is Procrastination?

Procrastination is an age-old problem of our society, dating back to ancient times. But not until we humans fucked up our living environment with modern technologies, did we start to see it more and more (More to this later)

So what is procrastination exactly?

When facing a problem, there are only two ways we can choose to respond — either with a distraction or with a solution (not doing anything is also a distraction)

Distractions

In short, distractions are everything that is not a solution to a problem.

While solutions bring us closer to the goal by solving the problem and overcoming the obstacle — distractions pull us away from it.

The reason we choose distractions is not because we want to do them; otherwise, we wouldn’t feel shitty after doing them.

We choose distractions over solutions because, in the short term, they allow us to escape reality and calm our minds — essentially help us pretend (at least for a moment) that the problem isn’t there.

Unfortunately, the problem doesn’t go away like that.

Modern Environment

If you do not actively choose a better way, then society, culture, and the general inertia of life will push you into a worse way. The default is distraction, not improvement.

— James Clear

As mentioned above, we humans fucked up our environment with technologies.

Nowadays, we are surrounded by tons of things 24/7 that provide us with an insane amount of instant gratification:

• Social Media

• Fast Food

• Smoking

• Drinking

• Video Games

• Porn

• Drugs

These are what many choose to do when they want to run away from their problems, when they feel stressed or stuck.

The thing is, some of these not only rob you of your time but also rob you of your health and mind. So if you don’t do anything to change, to get better, by default (with the world filled with distractions), you’ll end up with a life full of regrets, even though you know you can do better.

The Procrastination Downward Spiral

Now that we understand that procrastination is choosing distractions when facing a problem, we need to understand why it is bad.

Some might think that it is ok to “cheat” once or twice when you feel stressed.

But the real problems only come when these distractions start to become a habit:

• What starts as just 1 or 2 cigarettes becomes 100

• What starts just a few times of opening TikTok becomes thousands of times

• What starts as just a chocolate becomes binge and stress eating

• What starts as just a nude becomes a compulsive porn watching and masturbating routine that you do whenever you feel bad about yourself

• What starts as just a few minutes wasted becomes hours and even days

What’s worse is not just the negative impact these have on your physical health, but also the effects on your mental health.

You’ll feel so stressed and anxious knowing that you still have things to do and problems to solve.

You’ll feel so disappointed and embarrassed in yourself that you can not even face the world.

You’ll miss opportunities because you didn’t take them when they presented themselves. (Crypto dips)

You’ll miss the precious time that you could have spent with your loved ones or done something amazing.

I’m speaking from experience, and I know how shitty it feels whenever I procrastinate.

It could have started with a moment of feeling sad, stressed, lost, or overwhelmed, and led to hours of staring at my phone, lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing.

And that feeling when I realized I just wasted hours made me want to stop thinking about everything even more, and keep escaping to my comfortable world of video games, manga, Netflix series, and Instagram reels. It was so bad that I would even stay up until morning and sometimes even go to work with just 2 or 3 hours of sleep.

I would then feel so disappointed and embarrassed with myself that I would stop contacting my friends and family, afraid they would judge me, scared I would disappoint them…

I couldn’t even go on dates or make new friends because I couldn’t open myself up and let them know how pathetic my life was.

My self-confidence was at rock bottom because I had lost trust in myself, and my biggest fear (besides disappointing my family and becoming a burden to them) was that I would not fulfill my potential and would end up with a life full of regret about what could have been…

You feel terrible because your subconscious knows that you could be doing better.

— Dan Koe

What’s On The Other Side?

You may feel like giving up on your dreams and letting everything go. After all, you have fallen too far, because you have wasted too much time, or it’s too late.

“Maybe I’m not cut out to become someone great, maybe I’m better off just living a normal life, maybe I should stop dreaming so big….”

Those were my exact thoughts during my 2 years of chronic procrastination, but I didn’t give up trying to beat it.

What kept me going and motivated me every time I procrastinated and just wanted to give up was this background image on my phone:

That’s right, no matter how bad things get, you can always pick yourself back up and get better.

There’s nowhere to go but up.

What are the benefits when procrastination no longer stands in your way?

• You will have better confidence and self-esteem

• You will build strong relationships and connections

• You will be able to seize opportunities when they come to you

• You will make unforgettable memories and have amazing experiences

• You will achieve what you want and become who you want to be

• You will fulfill your potential and live your life to its fullest

Remember, the phoenix rises from the ashes.

In the future, you’ll remember this as a bad phase that you went through.

You’ll have a story to tell your children about — about a hero who defeats a demon called procrastination, about the hardships he went through, about the obstacles he overcame, about the times that he wanted to give up, but he didn’t — until he reached his goal of creating the life that he wants.

We are what we overcome.

— Pantheon

How To Stop Procrastinating

Now you understand that to achieve your goals, we need to get rid of this bad habit, and here’s how:

1) Focus on the present

By now, you know what the Procrastination Downward Spiral looks like.

Feeling bad about you procrastinating and regretting the time wasted is a surefire way to keep you procrastinating again.

So what do you do?

You have to forgive yourself for the time wasted.

You need to focus on what you have control over right now, which is the present — not the past.

Think about it, what’s the alternative?

Are you going to cry to yourself, beat yourself up because you wasted time, because you did something you are not proud of — just to end up wasting even more time?

Or is it better to accept that you already wasted time and move on — to do better this time from now on?

I’ll leave the decision to you.

2) Visualize who you want to be

The climb may be long, but the view is worth it.

— Taric

In my opinion, it is much easier to live a mediocre life — where you work 9-5, where you trade 5 days a week for 2 days of freedom on the weekends, where you get 30 days of vacation every year.

All of this for the next 40 years of your life.

It’s not the worst, but I want MORE.

I want to become the best version of myself.

I want to travel and see the world

I want more time and freedom

I want to live my life to its fullest

All of that can only be possible if I choose to do things differently from others, if I decide to go on a path that is not planned out ahead for me.

Yes, it is harder — which is why most people don’t do this.

I will need to learn more, I will need to set more goals, and I will need to take more actions.

This uncertainty can cause more stress and lead to procrastination.

That is why it is crucial to remind yourself of your goal and visualize what the life you want looks like every day. This will give you the motivation you need to keep going even when it feels really hard.

How do we do that? Through self-suggestion.

Every day, before starting your day or before going to bed, say it in your head or, even better, out loud, who you want to be — and visualize that picture of yourself.

The WHO is important here because it is the identity that shapes your actions.

So instead of saying “I want to be healthy.”, say “I want to be a healthy person.”

When you identify yourself as a healthy person, your subconscious and pride will lead you to make decisions that contribute to that identity. — You will not eat fast food and will not bed-rot all day, because you ARE a healthy person.

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

— James Clear

You can start with something simple, such as “I want to be a responsible person,”.

Once you’re used to doing it every day, add more sentences describing what kind of person you want to be in each domain of your life — and you will have what I call the “Life Quests”, which will be the Northern Star guiding you towards your final destination — the life you want.

Here is my core vision and goals in the physical domain:

See the rest of my Life Quests here.

3) Remove your phone

The smartphone is one of the most important inventions of the 21st century.

It’s a powerful tool for learning and productivity, yet it’s also one of the biggest sources of procrastination.

So whenever you work, put your phone in another room. This is extremely important if you want to become a successful entrepreneur — you need to create a productive environment to work in.

If removing your phone doesn’t work, use Work Mode on Android or install a blocking app (I use App Block personally).

You will want to block out all the apps that can be a distraction when you work.

Use multiple apps, stack them on top of each other.

If needed to, invest in the paid version so you can’t cancel the blocking or uninstall the app. (Believe me, it’s worth every cent)

Essentially, you want to make it as difficult as possible for yourself to use your phone as a distraction while working. (Also works for sleeping time if you have a problem with staying up late)

Bonus: Use Porn Block as well if you’re addicted to porn.

Finally, if all the above don’t work, delete all the apps that are distracting you (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Netflix, Webtoon, Games) — or you can go extreme and return to the stone age with a Nokia ;)

Perseverance, grit, and willpower are essential to success, but the way to improve these qualities is not by wishing you were a more disciplined person, but by creating a more disciplined environment.

— James Clear

4) Get Accountability

Another way to create a more disciplined environment is to get accountability.

When I was a chronic procrastinator, I would sometimes stay up all night watching my phone, only to end up with two hours of sleep before having to work the next day.

Somehow, I never missed a workday, even though I felt like I could collapse due to sleepiness at any moment. (Probably could’ve happened if I were older)

This illustrates the power of accountability when your actions affect someone else.

People tend to keep their promises to others more than the ones they made to themselves, because they don’t one to be an unreliable asshole who can’t keep their word.

And since you probably don’t want to have kids just so that you can become a productive superhero-parent, the next best thing you can do is to tell someone you trust about the goal that you want to achieve.

Of course, only tell just one or two people. You don’t want to get dopamine prematurely by telling everyone about your goals — before actually having something to show for.

You can even raise the stakes by making a contract, where if you fail to reach the goal, you’ll have to pay them money.

You are making the consequences of the bad habit as painful as possible, so that’ll be easier for you to just stick to the good ones instead.

When the consequences are severe, people learn quickly.

— James Clear

Of course, this can only work if you know how to set a realistic goal with a specific deadline, which brings us to the next point.

5) Work on a real goal

Procrastination is nature’s way of telling you that you aren’t working on the right thing.

— Dan Koe

Having a meaningful goal that aligns with your values and your Mastery Manifesto is what gives you the motivation to take action every day.

It can be something like creating a business, getting in shape, writing a blog, etc.

But there are 2 important things to keep in mind when setting a goal:

It should be specific and within your reach

Example:

“Create a business” is not a good goal to set. At least it is not enough to leave it as just that.

Sure, it works as a big goal, but if you set it as a goal that you are working on right now, you will feel overwhelmed and will not even know where to start.

If you want to create a business, you need to break it down into subgoals until it is specific and easy enough for you to take action towards.

Something like “Research what skills you need” or “Brainstorm 5 business ideas” just sounds way more specific and achievable.

And after you reach this goal, you’ll set the next one and work on it, and repeat — until you reach the big goal of creating a business.

You’re not trying to accomplish a big win all at once but accumulate a thousand small wins gradually. It turns out when you do this, not only do you end up accomplishing much more, but you will be more motivated and satisfied while doing it.

— Mark Manson

It should have a realistic deadline

Without a deadline, you will not get anything done — or it will take you a much longer time.

You have probably had an experience where you had more than enough time to prepare for a test or work on a school project, but you would waste time doing something else or procrastinate until the very last moment. Now you have only 1 day left to start learning or to finish the project — Sounds familiar, right?

But somehow, magically, you still managed to do it in time and even scored better than you expected.

This is not magic, this is science, and it’s something we call Parkinson’s law:

“The work expands to fill the time allotted.”

The lesson here is not to do everything at the very last moment, but to set a realistic deadline for every goal that you are working on.

Realistic means not too long or too short.

If the deadline is too long, you will take more time than necessary to complete a simple goal; if it’s too short, you will not finish on time or with poor-quality results.

How much time you give yourself will depend on your personal situation and goals at the moment, so that is something you can only figure out by yourself.

The end product of the shorter deadline is almost inevitably of equal or higher quality due to greater focus.

— Tim Ferris

A deadline with a realistic time to complete — combined with the accountability, you won’t even want to procrastinate anymore (Unless you want to pay your friend 100 bucks and be labeled as someone whose words others can not trust)

Conclusion

To summarize what you need to do to stop procrastinating:

1. Forgive yourself every time you procrastinate and do it better

2. Remind and visualize every day who you want to be

3. Remove your phone or use app block

4. Get accountability from someone you trust

5. Work on an achievable goal with a realistic deadline

Do this consistently, and you will never catch yourself procrastinating again.

Thank you for reading, and see you in the next one.

— Kien

If you enjoyed this article and are serious about reaching life mastery, subscribe to my weekly newsletter.

Every issue gives you lessons and actionable guidance to level up in all areas of your life.

Subscribe now