Procrastination Is Ruining Your Life — 4 Simple Steps to Stop It Starting Today
And create the life you want
There are two worst phases in my life: my depression phase and my procrastination phase.
Mentally, the depression phase was the worst, but that’s a story for another time…
As for the procrastination phase, it didn’t start out badly, but over time, as the bad habit took root and more time was wasted, it began to affect all areas of my life—mentally, physically, and socially. (At least money wasn’t affected, but it did take away my time and opportunities to improve it, and if it isn’t solved, it will likely worsen in the long run.)
What Is Procrastination?
Procrastination is an age-old problem of our society, dating back to ancient times. But not until we humans fucked up our living environment with modern technologies, did we start to see it more and more (More to this later)
So what is procrastination exactly?
When facing a problem, there are only two ways we can choose to respond — either with a distraction or with a solution (not doing anything is also a distraction)
Distractions
In short, distractions are everything that is not a solution to a problem.
While solutions bring us closer to the goal by solving the problem and overcoming the obstacle — distractions pull us away from it.
The reason we choose distractions is not because we want to do them; otherwise, we wouldn’t feel shitty after doing them.
We choose distractions over solutions because, in the short term, they allow us to escape reality and calm our minds — essentially help us pretend (at least for a moment) that the problem isn’t there.
Unfortunately, the problem doesn’t go away like that.
Modern Environment
If you do not actively choose a better way, then society, culture, and the general inertia of life will push you into a worse way. The default is distraction, not improvement.
— James Clear
As mentioned above, we humans fucked up our environment with technologies.
Nowadays, we are surrounded by tons of things 24/7 that provide us with an insane amount of instant gratification:
Social Media
Fast Food
Smoking
Drinking
Video Games
Porn
Drugs
These are what many choose to do when they want to run away from their problems, when they feel stressed or stuck.
The thing is, some of these not only rob you of your time but also rob you of your health and mind. So if you don’t do anything to change, to get better, by default (with the world filled with distractions), you’ll end up with a life full of regrets, even though you know you can do better.
The Procrastination Downward Spiral
Now that we understand that procrastination is choosing distractions when facing a problem, we need to understand why it is bad.
Some might think that it is ok to “cheat” once or twice when you feel stressed.
But the real problems only come when these distractions start to become a habit:
What starts as just 1 or 2 cigarettes becomes 100
What starts just a few times of opening TikTok becomes thousands of times
What starts as just a chocolate becomes binge and stress eating
What starts as just a nude becomes a compulsive porn watching and masturbating routine that you do whenever you feel bad about yourself
What starts as just a few minutes wasted becomes hours and even days
What’s worse is not just the negative impact these have on your physical health, but also the effects on your mental health.
You’ll feel so stressed and anxious knowing that you still have things to do and problems to solve.
You’ll feel so disappointed and embarrassed in yourself that you can not even face the world.
You’ll miss opportunities because you didn’t take them when they presented themselves. (Crypto dips)
You’ll miss the precious time that you could have spent with your loved ones or done something amazing.
I’m speaking from experience, and I know how shitty it feels whenever I procrastinate.
It could have started with a moment of feeling sad, stressed, lost, or overwhelmed, and led to hours of staring at my phone, lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing.
And that feeling when I realized I just wasted hours made me want to stop thinking about everything even more, and keep escaping to my comfortable world of video games, manga, Netflix series, and Instagram reels. It was so bad that I would even stay up until morning and sometimes even go to work with just 2 or 3 hours of sleep.
I would then feel so disappointed and embarrassed with myself that I would stop contacting my friends and family, afraid they would judge me, scared I would disappoint them…
I couldn’t even go on dates or make new friends because I couldn’t open myself up and let them know how pathetic my life was.
My self-confidence was at rock bottom because I had lost trust in myself, and my biggest fear (besides disappointing my family and becoming a burden to them) was that I would not fulfill my potential and would end up with a life full of regret about what could have been…
You feel terrible because your subconscious knows that you could be doing better.
— Dan Koe
What’s On The Other Side?
You may feel like giving up on your dreams and letting everything go. After all, you have fallen too far, because you have wasted too much time, or it’s too late.
“Maybe I’m not cut out to become someone great, maybe I’m better off just living a normal life, maybe I should stop dreaming so big….”
Those were my exact thoughts during my 2 years of chronic procrastination, but I didn’t give up trying to beat it.
What kept me going and motivated me every time I procrastinated and just wanted to give up was this background image on my phone:
That’s right, no matter how bad things get, you can always pick yourself back up and get better.
There’s nowhere to go but up.
What are the benefits when procrastination no longer stands in your way?
You will have better confidence and self-esteem
You will build strong relationships and connections
You will be able to seize opportunities when they come to you
You will make unforgettable memories and have amazing experiences
You will achieve what you want and become who you want to be
You will fulfill your potential and live your life to its fullest
Remember, the phoenix rises from the ashes.
In the future, you’ll remember this as a bad phase that you went through.
You’ll have a story to tell your children about — about a hero who defeats a demon called procrastination, about the hardships he went through, about the obstacles he overcame, about the times that he wanted to give up, but he didn’t — until he reached his goal of creating the life that he wants.
We are what we overcome.
— Pantheon
How To Stop Procrastinating
Now you understand that to achieve your goals, we need to get rid of this bad habit, and here’s how:
1) Focus on the present
By now, you know what the Procrastination Downward Spiral looks like.
Feeling bad about you procrastinating and regretting the time wasted is a surefire way to keep you procrastinating again.
So what do you do?
You have to forgive yourself for the time wasted.
You need to focus on what you have control over right now, which is the present — not the past.
Think about it, what’s the alternative?
Are you going to cry to yourself, beat yourself up because you wasted time, because you did something you are not proud of — just to end up wasting even more time?
Or is it better to accept that you already wasted time and move on — to do better this time from now on?
I’ll leave the decision to you.
2) Visualize who you want to be
The climb may be long, but the view is worth it.
— Taric
In my opinion, it is much easier to live a mediocre life — where you work 9-5, where you trade 5 days a week for 2 days of freedom on the weekends, where you get 30 days of vacation every year.
All of this for the next 40 years of your life.
It’s not the worst, but I want MORE.
I want to become the best version of myself.
I want to travel and see the world
I want more time and freedom
I want to live my life to its fullest
All of that can only be possible if I choose to do things differently from others, if I decide to go on a path that is not planned out ahead for me.
Yes, it is harder — which is why most people don’t do this.
I will need to learn more, I will need to set more goals, and I will need to take more actions.
This uncertainty can cause more stress and lead to procrastination.
That is why it is crucial to remind yourself of your goal and visualize what the life you want looks like every day. This will give you the motivation you need to keep going even when it feels really hard.
How do we do that? Through self-suggestion.
Every day, before starting your day or before going to bed, say it in your head or, even better, out loud, who you want to be — and visualize that picture of yourself.
The WHO is important here because it is the identity that shapes your actions.
So instead of saying “I want to be healthy.”, say “I want to be a healthy person.”
When you identify yourself as a healthy person, your subconscious and pride will lead you to make decisions that contribute to that identity. — You will not eat fast food and will not bed-rot all day, because you ARE a healthy person.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”
— James Clear
You can start with something simple, such as “I want to be a responsible person,”.
Once you’re used to doing it every day, add more sentences describing what kind of person you want to be in each domain of your life — and you will have what I call the “Life Quests”, which will be the Northern Star guiding you towards your final destination — the life you want.
Here is my core vision and goals in the physical domain:
See the rest of my Life Quests here.
3) Remove your phone
The smartphone is one of the most important inventions of the 21st century.
It’s a powerful tool for learning and productivity, yet it’s also one of the biggest sources of procrastination.
So whenever you work, put your phone in another room. This is extremely important if you want to become a successful entrepreneur — you need to create a productive environment to work in.
If removing your phone doesn’t work, use Work Mode on Android or install a blocking app (I use App Block personally).
You will want to block out all the apps that can be a distraction when you work.
Use multiple apps, stack them on top of each other.
If needed to, invest in the paid version so you can’t cancel the blocking or uninstall the app. (Believe me, it’s worth every cent)
Essentially, you want to make it as difficult as possible for yourself to use your phone as a distraction while working. (Also works for sleeping time if you have a problem with staying up late)
Bonus: Use Porn Block as well if you’re addicted to porn.
Finally, if all the above don’t work, delete all the apps that are distracting you (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Netflix, Webtoon, Games) — or you can go extreme and return to the stone age with a Nokia ;)
Perseverance, grit, and willpower are essential to success, but the way to improve these qualities is not by wishing you were a more disciplined person, but by creating a more disciplined environment.
— James Clear
4) Get Accountability
Another way to create a more disciplined environment is to get accountability.
When I was a chronic procrastinator, I would sometimes stay up all night watching my phone, only to end up with two hours of sleep before having to work the next day.
Somehow, I never missed a workday, even though I felt like I could collapse due to sleepiness at any moment. (Probably could’ve happened if I were older)
This illustrates the power of accountability when your actions affect someone else.
People tend to keep their promises to others more than the ones they made to themselves, because they don’t one to be an unreliable asshole who can’t keep their word.
And since you probably don’t want to have kids just so that you can become a productive superhero-parent, the next best thing you can do is to tell someone you trust about the goal that you want to achieve.
Of course, only tell just one or two people. You don’t want to get dopamine prematurely by telling everyone about your goals — before actually having something to show for.
You can even raise the stakes by making a contract, where if you fail to reach the goal, you’ll have to pay them money.
You are making the consequences of the bad habit as painful as possible, so that’ll be easier for you to just stick to the good ones instead.
When the consequences are severe, people learn quickly.
— James Clear
Of course, this can only work if you know how to set a realistic goal with a specific deadline, which brings us to the next point.
5) Work on a real goal
Procrastination is nature’s way of telling you that you aren’t working on the right thing.
— Dan Koe
Having a meaningful goal that aligns with your values and your Mastery Manifesto is what gives you the motivation to take action every day.
It can be something like creating a business, getting in shape, writing a blog, etc.
But there are 2 important things to keep in mind when setting a goal:
It should be specific and within your reach
Example:
“Create a business” is not a good goal to set. At least it is not enough to leave it as just that.
Sure, it works as a big goal, but if you set it as a goal that you are working on right now, you will feel overwhelmed and will not even know where to start.
If you want to create a business, you need to break it down into subgoals until it is specific and easy enough for you to take action towards.
Something like “Research what skills you need” or “Brainstorm 5 business ideas” just sounds way more specific and achievable.
And after you reach this goal, you’ll set the next one and work on it, and repeat — until you reach the big goal of creating a business.
You’re not trying to accomplish a big win all at once but accumulate a thousand small wins gradually. It turns out when you do this, not only do you end up accomplishing much more, but you will be more motivated and satisfied while doing it.
— Mark Manson
It should have a realistic deadline
Without a deadline, you will not get anything done — or it will take you a much longer time.
You have probably had an experience where you had more than enough time to prepare for a test or work on a school project, but you would waste time doing something else or procrastinate until the very last moment. Now you have only 1 day left to start learning or to finish the project — Sounds familiar, right?
But somehow, magically, you still managed to do it in time and even scored better than you expected.
This is not magic, this is science, and it’s something we call Parkinson’s law:
“The work expands to fill the time allotted.”
The lesson here is not to do everything at the very last moment, but to set a realistic deadline for every goal that you are working on.
Realistic means not too long or too short.
If the deadline is too long, you will take more time than necessary to complete a simple goal; if it’s too short, you will not finish on time or with poor-quality results.
How much time you give yourself will depend on your personal situation and goals at the moment, so that is something you can only figure out by yourself.
The end product of the shorter deadline is almost inevitably of equal or higher quality due to greater focus.
— Tim Ferris
A deadline with a realistic time to complete — combined with the accountability, you won’t even want to procrastinate anymore (Unless you want to pay your friend 100 bucks and be labeled as someone whose words others can not trust)
Conclusion
To summarize what you need to do to stop procrastinating:
Forgive yourself every time you procrastinate and do it better
Remind and visualize every day who you want to be
Remove your phone or use app block
Get accountability from someone you trust
Work on an achievable goal with a realistic deadline
Do this consistently, and you will never catch yourself procrastinating again.
Thank you for reading, and see you in the next one.
— Kien
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